Shut Your Trap

So right now I'm in a contemplative mood.

Listening to John Mayer always seems to do that to me. Here...listen along, dear reader.

Anywhom, as we listen to this song together, I'll tell you what I've been thinking about....

I need to learn to shut up.

No, really.

Somehow, over the past few days, so excited by the finishing of my book I've managed to tell half the world about it. Oh yeah, did I tell you I got my broken flash drive back (fixed) and it's officially finished? Right now, my darling friend and official editor has it in her grimy little hands. Very, very excited to start getting some feedback and to look for representation.

Anywhom, yes, I need to shut my trap about it.

I know what you're thinking: "It's your baby. You worked on that thing for 1263ish days. You should be proud about it. Tell the world!!!!!"

But...when I do...they tend to ask what it's about. As you know, dear reader, I've told you absolutely nothing about my "baby". You have no synopsis, little clue to what it's about, the names of the characters, or the world that it takes place in. You don't even know the title! And, as I explained, I do that for a reason here...the interwebz have a habit of leaking things. Well, in the so called real world, I don't want to tell too many people about it either.

"Buy a hard copy," I say. Really, I'm just waiting to get this sucker copyrighted.

When you have a child, you wait as long as possible to protect it from the slime in the outside world. Manuscripts can be described in the same way, I suppose.

Anyway, this is what it looked like just before it went off to my dear friend.

 The black spots are the title and my name. So ha ha ha. But it wound up being an official page count of 318 (1.5 spaced, 12 pt font), 38 pages, and 2 parts. A monster of a book. In case you can't tell what cover I decided on, here's a refresher...

You know, before I started I had another thing that I wanted to talk about. Hmmmm....

I had another literary contraction today. It used to be that I got them at least once a day, maybe more. But for so long, I've been devoid of them almost completely. So having 2 within a month's period is pretty dang awesome.

This one, rather than being dark and edgy, is more of a historical fiction thing. Actually, it takes place in 2 different time periods: Now and in the Ancient World. Sort of a parallel of worlds. I dunno. It might not be that great, but it's good to sort through the crap in order to find the diamond.

That wasn't even what my other idea was...but I suppose it will do it for now.

Oh yeah! I had an interview for a new job yesterday and to quote, they are "very interested" in hiring me. And the best part is...it's at a bookstore. Could you imagine a better job for me?! I think not.

Well, other than the writing thing...

I hope you enjoyed the music.

--Jeanie

Crying and a Killer's Debate

Sometimes I think I'm too emotional.

I wrote the ending to my book today. I didn't finish it, but I wrote the ending. If that doesn't make sense, then perhaps I should explain that I have a habit of writing books like the Star Wars films: I start somewhere in the center, sometimes having a beginning to base things on all. Then I'll go to the end, and fill in the holes earlier in the story. I find I write better backwards because then I have a definitive idea of where I'm heading.

Anyway...yeah, I wrote the ending. And I felt like crying. Call me crazy, but everytime I get to the end of a book, whether I'm reading it or writing it, I tend to cry (if the story is good, at least). And if I don't cry, I feel sort of depressed inside. Like there's some sort of weight in my heart that I don't know how to release.

It's not a really sad ending at all. Actually, in my mind at least, it's pretty inspirational.

But its still an ending.

However, I'm sort of stuck in two areas of writing this book.

First, is the actual ending. It's a debate I'm having on whether to kill off the romantic interest or not. Part of me thinks it would be sort of macabre to do so, but the other part thinks that it would be a sort of twist on the story, something to make it a bit more gripping. As of now, he is alive. I might wait a while before I choose which ending I want.

And now I feel so sick because I'm debating the death of someone who is, in my mind, very real. To me, he exists, has a name, has habits, interests, emotions, thoughts... I would say I've fallen in love with him, but that would be an understatement (and just sound even weirder).

The second area is the beginning. This part has been giving me trouble since day 1. I started writing this almost 3 years ago. Back then, I was writing it for the me of that age. But now, I'm writing it for the me of this age and beyond. And so the beginning, at first, was sort of generalized...like the starting to most books. Introductions, yadda yadda.  And now I'm trying to redo it, and it's taking place in form of a story. The only problem is...I don't know if making the beginning a story would be pushing it. I mean, there's SOOOO much that needs to be explained that it can't happen slowly...this book is already 250 pages and growing everyday. I mean, there's a bunch of people, different creatures, different places...and they all need to have a proper introduction.

I mean, is telling it like a story too much? Or just write? (Haha, that was a pun!)

GAH!!!!!!

There. You just got a taste of my aggravation that I'm experiencing on this.

Maybe it will come to me in a dream?

--Genevieve