Operation Status Update

There's a long running joke between my friends and I...

Wait.

Who am I to jump right into the fray of new ideas after that last posting? If you recall, dear reader, my mind seemed to be racing in just about every direction about running away from dreams of relationships blah blah blah.

At that point, I bet you all were about ready to slam the off button on your computer in frustration.

You want a hashtag that perfectly explains my last post? #teenagegirlproblems

I'm getting over it. Also, dear reader, if you will notice that post was time stamped from some time after 10PM. You will quickly come to realize that my mind is not a reliable source after, oh 9PM.

Right now, it's 8:51. So we better hurry up.

Anywhom, my last post did try to prove a point...to myself. It was a "self-discovery" piece, if you will. Coming to the realization that all of these things are happening. Things you've wished for all your life. And yet I run from them.

Here's the thing. I'm fine right now. With all of it. For the first time in years, I'm finally starting to enjoy life again. I mean, I still have my own set of problems but I'm beginning to accept myself for who I am for the first time.

It's a liberating feeling.

So, let's jump back into that fray, shall we?

There's a long running joke between my friends and I that although I try my hardest to keep myself anonymous (no real name, changing my writings just enough to count, using broad references, etc) a vast majority of you know me. I post this blog on my Facebook and Twitter. That's where most of you come from. You know me.

However, I would like to report that in the last week, my blog has reached yet another continent.

Hello South America!

If you want a count right now, my blog has gone to: the US, Canada, Malaysia, France, Germany, Switzerland, the UK, Brazil, Belarus, and Iraq. Let me know if you have not been counted!

Thank you all for joining me.

And as for remaining anonymous, I do have some more news.

No, I won't reveal my true name tonight. Tonight.

However, when I last wrote on this subject, I did say that my book was done being edited by A. I got it back on Wednesday and oh gosh did I realize how giant it was.

320 pages, dear reader. That's the size of the first two Harry Potter novels combined (ish).

I am currently working on going through and reading A's edits whilst also adding many more of my own. See, I've never really edited it myself (cuz who wants to print off 300+ pages more than they have to?). It's gonna take a while, but it will be finished as soon as I possibly can.

Do you know what that means next?

Agents, dear reader. There is one agent in particular that I will be harrassing as much as I can because I believe we're the perfect fit. And after agents, comes publishers. Comes you purchasing my book at your local bookstore (or e-reader, but those are lame). Comes me having to tell you my real name and the title of my book so that I can push book sales and pay my way through college.

Well, sort of.

Anyway, that's the current status update on that topic.

Speaking of status updates....

Listen to this:



This song is currently on "repeat" on my iPod. Actually, it has been for about an hour and a half. I've become obsessed with it lately.

Listen to the lyrics:

"I think I'm ready to leap,
I'm ready to leave
I'm ready to go"

Right now, this is almost my perfect description. I know I'm commenting on how much I have to look forward to in the next few months: Quitting my job, my sister coming home, going to my new dream school, publishing my book...living life. I'm ready for all of it right now. However, the next set also explains me right now:

"Get me out of my mind,
get me out of my mind."

I know, how does that make sense at all? Well, I've also said how lately I've been losing friends. In the midst of life and moving forward...they've disappeared. I don't believe that I've felt quite as lonely before as I do now.

With a few exceptions, it seems as if no one will communicate with me.

No one wants to hang out.

Texting is non-existant.

All I do lately (when I'm not at work) is sit at home doing playing Spider Solitare or Mahjong Tiles. And doing a whole hell of a lot of social networking.

My mind, lately, is a series of status updates. Something. Anything. Perhaps if this is interesting enough, they'll talk to me. I'll feel like I belong.

Is it wrong to say I want attention? Cuz at this point, I feel like I'm in a deep pit looking up towards the light where the party is. I miss the days when I was in high school or when I volunteered that I was able to make plans and be with my friends at any given moment of the day. My phone was constantly "blowing up". I felt like I was a part of something.

Status update: Table for one?

Is anyone there?

Whilst I did say that I was beginning to accept myself for who I am and that I can move on from certain challenges and harships that I've faced in recent years...this is something I don't know if I can do it.

You more than likely followed me from some social networking site.

I'm not trying to get you to pity me. Hell, you don't have to talk to me if you really don't want to.

But it would be nice.

--Rose

Land of the Free?

I've been pondering a question for some time now.

Do we ever think of how we treat some people?

We pride ourselves on being a nation of the free, a big melting pot where people are always welcome.

But for years, we had slavery of African Americans.

For years, the Irish were mistreated.

Puerto Ricans were abused and thrown into slums.

The Japanese were put into internment camps.

For a nation of such freedom, we surely have a lot of vices against others. But this thinking hasn't come from absolutely nowhere. It came from, once more, my Bollywood addiction.

This time the movie was called My Name is Khan. Surprisingly, it's not a musical. Rather, it's about a Muslim man from India. He has Asperger's Syndrome. But when his mother dies, he moves to the U.S. There he meets a beautiful Hindu woman who's been married once before, then divorced. The more they get to know each other, the more they fall in love. All is happy, right?

9/11 hit. A country devastated, furious at whoever did this. Muslim extremists. However, every woman who wears a head scarf, every man who spoke with an accent, and every child with dark skin was targeted...even if they were non-extremists or Hindi. Khan's new son is constantly abused in school. And as parent's are sent overseas, their children find more and more fury towards this Hindi boy. Long, sad story short...he is killed. An innocent life taken because of people's inability to see the difference between good people and bad people. (The story continues, but isn't quite pertinent.)

But theirs wasn't the only story like this. All across the country, the same thing was happening to perfectly innocent people. And I'm sure in the stories from above, of the Irish, P.R.'s, and Japanese...the same sort of sad tale can be had.

We, a supposedly accepting country, find ourselves unable to understand people who aren't exactly like us in every way, shape, and form.

It can happen on a much smaller scale as well.

High school.

I know, this is a long post.

Remember a few weeks ago I told you of my literary contraction: My new, dark and edgy novel? Well, it too deals with the way that we treat people.

If you go around an average high school, gossip will be all around you. People will be talking about other people. It could be good. But most generally, it isn't.

You'll laugh at one girl because she weighs too much.

You'll sneer at another because of the way she dresses.

You'll make fun of one who, it seems, dreams up all these impossible things.

The same can be said for guys too.

But the thing is, we hardly ever think about the person before we do whatever terrible deed. We don't know how she's been raised, what type of world she grew up in, how many people who were so close died, or how she struggles so much because she's being pulled too many ways. And this girl, or boy, could be dying on the inside, dreadfully heartbroken. Perhaps wishing she would never live another day.

This is the main subject for my new piece.

Stop to think before you make a judgement.

You might be accusing someone of being something that they're not--a bad person rather than a good.

You might be the last straw before someone decides to pull the trigger.

We need to learn to be openminded about everyone and accept them for whatever, whoever they are.

--Alice