Sunday, March 11, 2012

Dinosaur Apologies and Rants About Reality

Guys, it's been a month. I know what you're thinking.

"Who does this chick think she is? Dropping us like an old toy in the dirt and walking away for a month. Oh, now it's 1AM and now she thinks she can come back to us. No. NO!"

Well, uhm...yeah.

Look, I can explain. I've been super mondo busy. You have no idea. For the first time in almost 2 years, I actually have a life again and it was basically killing me for a good month. Now that most everything is over with, I can finally breathe. I thought about you, bloggy, I really did.

Sorry, people. I love you.

Here's this picture of a dinosaur to prove it:

See now. Doesn't that make it a little bit better?

Well, I tried.

Anyways.... I keep trying to remember what's happened in the past month and it's simply SO MUCH that I don't even know where to begin. Heck, I don't even remember what was going down last month. *Consults old posts* Ok, not much.

So...let's go in semi sequential order.

Sorority: Welp, I'm officially in a sorority. It sounds weird to say. I'm so used to the term having such a huge negative connotation back at home and the fact that I'm in a REALLY COOL sorority out here is a little strange. Like, not at all what I imagined. And it's pretty cool in it's own way. It's something I have to get used to, and we all know Chelsea reacts terribly to change.

But I like it. I really do. Heck, I like it enough that I'm going to have to wake up at 9AM tomorrow morning to hang out with them.

School: Ok, so a few things have changed with this since we last talked. I think. Well, ok, I just consulted the blog and apparently I told you that I added a major. Cool beans, cool beans.

HOWEVER, I don't think I told you that I'm going to Scotland next Spring (instead of a semester at sea). Pumped? You betcha. Especially because Brave comes out this summer and she's Scottish AND has red hair. We're practically twins already.

Job: My life got pretty awesome all of a sudden a couple of weeks ago. The time came for me to reapply to Disney. I'm like "whatever, cool, I get to wait another 6 months to reapply again". Within 12 hours of submitting an application, I walked out of Disney with a job. Yeah. It happened just like that. It's pretty fantastic and I don't want to say much else here. But I'm super excited you have no idea.

Writing: Not much has happened. I got the coolest rejection letter ever (where the agent said that she would totally take me if she hadn't already filled her quota). And then a few other boring rejection letters. I feel like this is going to be the year for me.

General: It was my birthday last week. Yayyyyy.

Relationships: Yup, still single.

However, I've decided that it's probably best for me to get over the guy I've been crazy about since I moved to California. It's hard, but I was tired of fooling myself. There was nothing there between us. I knew it all along. I thought that because we liked the same things that something, anything might happen. But it won't, and I have to accept that.

I yearn for something real.

I've been in that internal battle lately. I've been watching several of my friends going after each other and other people, looking for someone. Sometimes it's anyone. They get too crazy about people that it obviously isn't going to work with. They have nothing between them. But they build it up in their minds and it becomes something that appears in a reality all it's own. What's worse is they deny it when there is something there with a person. Something that could turn into every thing.

I want to know what it is for something to be real. I want it to appear out of nowhere. I want to know that the other person feels the same way that I do. For there to be something pure and real between us that can't be denied.

I have a bad habit of falling for the people that nothing will ever happen with. Either they live too far away or they're just impossibilities. And when they like me, I've done nothing but flee. I need to fix this.

I just want reality. Is that too much to ask?

I ranted on. I apologize for that. It's just the side affect of 3 cups of coffee and daylight savings time. I do crazy things.

(Plus, this blog has never been known for keeping on topic.)

I think that that's all for tonight, kiddos. Enjoy your 1 less hour of sleep (unless you live in Arizona or Hawaii). I'll try to be back in sometime less than a month.

Chelsea