Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Day My Heart Fell Through

Dear Canada, you didn't read my last post...

Did I infringe on some national security?

And hello to the rest of my readers! It seems like the jazzier my titles, the more of you will come read! So let's think jazzy, jazzy! :D

I just had a Starbucks.

And for those of you who don't know, me and Starbucks are a dangerous combination.

This could get interesting...

So let's get this show on the road, shall we?!?!

It's been a while since I've updated. I haven't forgotten about you, I promise! Really, I've had this installment planned for quite some time...but haven't had the time to write it down. Ah...the true stories of college students writing 10 page papers when they only need to be 5...

First of all, I would like to introduce you all to my friend Dree. I told you about her last time: Fellow writer, reader, and blogger. This girl and I shared near daily e-mails almost everyday for a year, talking about everything from life to boys to our writing. She is one of my greatest friends and confidante. I had told you that I would, with her permission, give you the link to her blog. Well, she has agreed (most graciously) and so I present to you The Musings of a Closet Wtriter. Please check her out...she's an amazing poet and short story writer.

Like Dree, I have many great friends. My best, best, best friend in the world came into my life when we were in 3rd grade. Through thick and thin we've been together and we're basically sisters. We're married, too (according to Facebook, anyway). Being in theatre for 6 years also lead to many, many wonderful friendships, all of whom I adore. The people you work with for 6 years, 4 hours a day, 5 days a week can grow so close to you. That kind of friendship is almost impossible to describe because of its tenderness.

I also have a very dear friend by the codename A (I know, so very Pretty Little Liars...) who I met on orientation day in 7th grade. I even remember what shirt I was wearing that day. In our science class, I asked her if I could sit next to her (so shy was I...) and a friendship just bloomed from there. We both loved reading, Harry Potter especially, and were in many of the same classes. A wanted to read my Harry Potter fanfiction and when she loved that so much, I started to show her my other writings. She edited my first and second books in 9th grade.

Well we all remember my last book: This one great conglomeration of 3-1/2 years of my life which I felt so strongly about. It's going to be a great book and the masses will eat it up.

A few weeks ago, I gave it to A so that she would read it first, and be able to help me work the kinks out on it.

Well, she's a busy person too and had to put it off initially for schoolwork and a vacation. That was fine for me. But then on last Friday, she told me she had started reading the book, so she could familiarize herself with the plot before editing.

I was so excited because at long last I would be able to share this story with someone. Even better, she had finished by that night and on Saturday, we would be going to see a play together.

Calming myself through a nine hour shift that day was difficult because I wanted to hear what she thought.

However, my excitement turned to nervousness then dread. When I saw her that night, the reaction was not what I had been expecting. "Some parts were slow" was the biggest thing she said. Well, 300+ pages tends to do that...

But it was the way that she said it was a little discontenting. It didn't sit right with me that whole night. It's almost like that feeling you get when you discover that the boy you have a crush on is totally crazy about another girl. A weight had dropped in my heart.

Had I really worked on this story for 3-1/2 years all for naught? My passion and lifes work that I spent hundreds of dollars to recover partial parts when catastrophe after catastrophe happened to it.

Did it suck?

I didn't recieve a full reaction from A because 1) we were with a lot of people and 2)we were at a play... For all I know, A could have really liked it, but was looking at it from a critical angle.

I love and respect A's opinion and input and take it quite seriously.

I've been too scared to ask about it since. Let her edit it, read what she has to say, fix it up...tighten up the plot....

At this point, I'm at a loss. I've even forgotten any point that I wanted to make with this. Pretty much, I just wanted to fill you in with the progress on that front.

I'm still hopeful, but at this point...I'm nervous for my baby. Please world, don't reject him.


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