Sunday, January 29, 2012

I Ran a (half) Marathon!!!

Yup, that's right. 13.1 miles in 3:05:somethingsomething (Who really cares about those last few digits anyway?

But before I go into that, I guess I should explain that I'm back in California.

Hiiiiiiiiii. (:

So I came back Wednesday morning/afternoon. It was a pretty chill ride. I moved back in no problems and was all happy about being back.

And then it hit me. Boom. I was back in California. Ultimately alone. For another 5 months (and, I suppose, years to come). And I kind of came to the realization that I REALLY don't want to be here anymore.

Let me explain.

On Tuesday night, I was sitting with my mom watching TV while she paid bills (yay reality). Ever since my dad passed and we had to pay off a million things and lost income and I had a $50k tuition. I forgot if I mentioned it but I got accepted into a really good study abroad program where I basically get to go to about 15 countries in 150 days. For a girl who's never been out of the country EVER that's pretty cool (especially considering my last book took place in London...).

But here's the thing: They don't take my school's scholarships (which contributes to about 75% of my education fees). There's no way that I could afford it on my own. So I had to sit on the couch and tell my mom that my dream to do this program, the reason I came to this school in the first place...that I was willing to give it all up.

What a terrible lie.

Which explain why when I was in California by myself 14 hours later at a school that I didn't see a reason to be at anymore, where I have very very few friends, made me the tiniest bit upset.

And here I am. And here I'm forced to stay until I find the next place to wander to, hoping that that's the place that I belong.

And if not, then the cycle continues.

So promptly on Tuesday, I rolled out of bed, went for a quick 3 mile run, headed out to the pool (yes, in January...this is California after all), and proceeded to fill out 14 applications for jobs in the area. I turned in one application in person that day and got an initial interview which might lead to some good news in the next few weeks.

Then on Friday I handed out 4 more (only one was hiring), sent out another query letter, picked up my (half) marathon information, hung out at Disneyland for a while and that was a night.

Saturday=Disneyland and sleep (I was on old lady and went to bed at 7).

Which means this morning I woke up at 3 and proceeded to get ready for my half. Because it was at Disneyland and was called the Tinkerbell Half Marathon, I figured that wearing green was out of the question. So I was obviously Tiger Lily. And I pwned.

So I signed up for this thing in, like, June. And I've been halfassishly training because I really hate running. In fact, I only did this thing to prove that I could. Inhaler and all.

And now that I'm done, I'm pretty good. I'll find a new activity because running is terrible.

Here's my medal.

Isn't it shiny????

Anyway. I finished. I'm done. No more running.

Ok, I might do a 5k every once in a while. But mostly cuz those aren't timed.

True story, when I crossed the finish line, I really didn't feel any sense of accomplishment. My first thought was "ok, it's time to go home now".

When I did, I took off my Cancer Sucks wristband that I had for my dad. By finishing this race, I finished the need to have it.

Life goes on, after all.

School starts back up tomorrow. Despite me not wanting to even be here anymore, I'm gonna have to suck it up. 

Hopefully things go better with the guy I'm trying to get the courage up to ask out and get to know better. No, I haven't forgotten my Not-New-Years-Resolution. (As a side note, though, things do seem to be going in a better direction already.)

Maybe I'll find a new dream. [Yes, that WAS a Tangled reference. How good of you to notice.]

We'll have to see.

As for now, I must leave you.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Blogspot is Being Stupid

(I apologize for the really far scrolling. I don't know how to fix it. Blogspot is stupid.)




Ahem. Is anyone still reading this thing...?

It's been 2 weeks. That's a long time. In the past two weeks, I've been to the other side
of the country and back, and on two separate road trips and four different climate zones.
 I've run 14 miles...but not all at once.

I'm semi-exhausted. Leaning on the verge of psychosis.

I always ask this (but I genuinely care) are you, Dear Reader?

Right now I'm in a million moods.

I move back to California in less than 48 hours.

I have a half marathon on Sunday.

I need to find a new physical activity after I'm done running.

On that constant search for an agent to represent me.

I have BOOKS to read and write.

Gah. Frustration.

I had this really long topic that I wanted to discuss, dealing with my lack
of religion and belief and how I think that it might change one day, but I just
didn't want to rant on about that.

So we're gonna leave this post short.

Florida was fantastic. Despite having to go with my brother who's a total
non-Disney-freak (we're polar opposites), we had a fairly good time. It's
got me eager to go back home to California though, strangely enough.

I haven't gotten much farther on my book, but I've managed to read a few.

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS by John Green is absolutely fantastic. If you
read it, you'll know why I sat down and read this sucker in one night
while I was on vacation and cried my eyes out. Beautiful.

BEAUTY QUEENS by Libba Bray. Technically I started this in July, but
 after a long hiatus, I finally finished. Hilarious as fuck and involves a
 lot of girl power (which we all know I absolutely adore in a book).

DISTANT WAVES by...I forgot and am too lazy to go look. I haven't quite
finished this one yet. It's merely meh, but still enjoyable nonetheless.
It deals with the Titanic which is a big plus in a book (my two "favorite"
historic events are the Holocaust and the Titanic. I'm a Holocaust Studies
minor...only because they don't have a Titanic Studies at my school). It's
got a lot of the supernatural and stuff so it's a bit weird.

I've found a few agents that I need to get off my lazy ass and send queries
to. I'll probably wind up doing that tomorrow.

Also, on Sunday, I'm running a marathon. OK, half of a marathon but
still. I'm ├╝ber nervous about it because my asthma has decided to
become a super bitch the last few weeks. Also, I'm only doing this
 to prove to myself, and people from my past who doubted me, that I
can do it. I absolutely hate running. People keep telling me I'll be addicted
once I'm done with this race and start running a lot of halves and full
marathons...somehow, though, I doubt this. Running is just not my
forte. But I will be on the hunt for a new form of physical activity.
Perhaps tennis, or something else like yoga. I just need to stay fit
without having to run. Haha.

And once that is over, I also have to be on the hunt for a new job.
I kind of have a job now, but it's just not working that well. As in, I get
no hours. I'll figure it out.

Yeah, so it's 11:30 PM, so I really should be going now.

I'll be back soon...probably when I'm in California once more.


Monday, January 9, 2012

Lost: What I'm Looking For. (Also, New Book Stuff)

Howdy y'all.

How's life been?

I'm pleased that in about 46 hours, I'll be in Florida. Booo yeah. :)

I've had a pretty rocking last week-ish. I've been to karaoke twice with some really awesome people (words can't really describe how much I've learned to enjoy karaoke). I've been working on some queries for agents. Started a new book. Watched a million YouTube videos.

Wait, what was that?



But there will be more on that in a moment.

On top of that other shebang, I've been hanging out with my friends a lot. Just about everyday I've been doing something with friends, be it going to see the Muppets, taking them for college entrance exams, or just sitting on a couch and doing absolutely nothing. I've come to rediscover just how much I love my friends out here. Words cannot even describe my love.

And then I remember that I'm going back to California in 2 weeks and back to some really awesome friends. I know I've said this before, but these friends just aren't my hometown people. All at once, I want to go back to California...but I don't want to be away from my life here.

I'm very conflicted because for almost 20 years I've really wanted nothing more than to escape my hometown. And now that I've gone to the place that I've been dreaming of all these's not quite what I really dreamt. Something's just not right and now once again I'm looking to relocate. Possibly back to my home state to the school where 60% of my hometown friends are.

But will that be right in the long run?

For some reason my favorite u2 song comes to mind.

I mean, I've done so much to get away from where I am from...but will I ever be happy anywhere? I know so many people who know exactly where they want to live and are perfectly content with that. They have lives planned out there. I don't seem to fit that mold.

For how much I talk about relationships...I don't see myself ever really settling down. And that's a scary thought because I genuinely want that. Things are a jumbled mass of confusion right now. GAH!

Anyways, that's my confusing thought for the week.

Next on the agenda.

I promised I'd talk more about my next book.

This one is a little strange. I've been sitting on the idea (which I cannot actually tell you) for quite some time. So I finally started pen to paper (ok, fingers to keyboard) this last week and started it. 

I'll admit, it's not even 3 pages long, but I actually like where it's going. Even though I've had a general plan of where I wanted to head with soon as I started writing my characters took hold of the story. Things that I was set against have actually happened and they're leading me down a great path.

However, those of you who have been around since my last book remember that I was having trouble with the beginning. As in, "ok, how do I start out this whole big picture?" I'm a fan of prologues told from the third person (while the rest of the book is first person) however I felt the deep desire to write this whole thing in the third person (despite my utter hatred for that vantage point). An author never says no to her deep desires (this also applies to chocolate).

Anyways... So how do I start this book? No prologue this time. I will tell you that this story has one character that cannot die. He's, for lack of a better word, immortal. So he's been around for ages and ages, forced to live this lie of a life while he constantly deals with the pattern of time.

Here's what I have so far.

He stood overlooking the ocean on the cliff. Eyes closed, wind blowing against him as the storm whirled inland, head facing the heavens…he was at complete peace.
For this one brief moment, nothing bad could happen.
A drop of rain hit him square in the face, forcing him to snap back to reality.
It was coming.
The time was near.
Pushing back the memories that was straining to be let loose, he turned back and followed that same path back to familiarity.

And that's it for the basic intro. From there it goes on to introduce another character and we learn what exactly is coming, yadda yadda yadda.

What I want to know is this: Would this make you want to read more?

Keep in mind that I'm being EXTREMELY selective with what I've told you thus far and trust me there's a lot more to come that even I don't know. So I need to know if this is the right foot to start out on. Hmmm?

Please leave comments in the dooblydoo down on the bottom of this thing.

I probably won't be back until after my trip (unless I feel like blogging from a few thousand feet in the air) so I'll see you somewhere around the 18th or 19th.


Sunday, January 1, 2012

My Not New Years Resolutions...Resolutions

Hey people, guess what?

I'm exhausted.

Let me note that it's not even 1AM this time. No. It's 3:06PM. Like, midday.

Yup. Exhausted.

Gee, I feel like I haven't talked to you guys since...LAST YEAR.

Shameless puns aside, it has been a little while since I've actually talked to you guys (rather than using that wonderful copy and paste button thingy from my other blog type thing).

So, uhm, happy New Year.

I hope yours was as wonderful as mine was. Honestly. This is the first time I've actually gone out and partied til midnight (and later because, good California [although not in California at the moment] girl that I am went to In-n-Out at 1:00AM when the par-tay was over). And, so unlike me, I had fun at that party dammit.

Yes, I was sober.

Yes I still had a ton of fun. Deal.

I don't have any New Years Resolutions per se (the last one I had and kept was to lose weight in 7th grade...goodbye 50 pounds). However, I have some New Years "goals". Not the same thing.

-I want to see the world this year. Hopefully this fall I will be doing a special study abroad program where I go to 14-15 different countries in 5 months. I also have plans to go to Florida (next week, actually), back to California (which I'll be exploring more this semester), and then possibly going to back to the east coast for different events. If that's not exciting I don't know what will be.

-Get better grades which is a given. I really did terribly this semester.

-I want to start living life without regrets. Simple as pie. I'm going to take risks this year. And for those of you who know my boy debacle situation...I'm planning on taking a big risk on that at some point soonish.

So yeah.

There's also that whole thing about making a difference. But that's my forever dreams.

However, I'm starting to become closer to this through my writing. [OMG guys, get excited. This writing blog is actually going to consist of writing information.]

Just a few days ago, I submitted a query of my last book to an agent whom I've really admired for a long time. I mean, he's married to my all-time favorite writer (who isn't JK Rowling) and is the agent for one of my favorite series (that isn't Harry Potter). So really. He covers the same types of books that I write. Crossing my fingers that this turns good. But I'm not going to stop here. Goal for this week is to find more agents and submit to them as well.

I want 2012 to be the year that I get published. I mean, we gotta do this while I'm still young, right?!

A lot happened last year. I had to grow up a lot in a very short amount of time. From college, to moving out on my own, to my job, to taking trips where I'm the responsible adult, to having to lose my father, and so much more. I'm ready to kick ass in 2012.

How about you?