Wednesday, February 20, 2013

November 2nd.

Has there ever been a date or a time that seems to haunt you?

For me, in the last three years, at least (that's as far as I can remember), I always seem to look at the clock at 9:11 every day.

I don't mean that it seems like everyday. No.

Literally every single day.

At least once. Sometimes at both 9:11's.

It's been something that's plagued me since I first noticed the affliction. What was the significance of 9:11. What is the significance, even today? I don't understand. A part of me feels like there's something that has happened, or will happen at 9:11 someday. And so, as fate's funny way of getting me ready, it forces me to see that time, over and over again. Every day. Until it happens.

Or to make me think back to events that may have taken place at 9:11. I mean, the time of day. Other connotations are obvious.

I don't know what it is, but it mystifies me still.

Just like each time November 2nd seems to roll around. For the past few years, this seems to be a date of some significance in some way or another.

My grandmother died this day when I was 9.

I met my best friend at home this day when I was 8. Well, actually talked to her.

It was the day my first "boyfriend" ever asked me out.

I moved in with one of my best friends on November 2nd.

And it was the date of my last dance, the first where I actually brought a date not out of requirement who meant something more than a friend. It was the day I finally learned to let go.

It seems like November 2nd has some sort of significance in my life in addition to 9:11. Or maybe I'm going crazy. But that day has always had some sort of aura that surrounds it, I don't know why. There's always this weird feeling I get, reminding me that something great is going to happen on that day in the future. Or maybe it already happened, on the day that I learned to forget, and that feeling will return no more.

Part of me, ironically, wants to get married on November 2nd.

Understandably, that's a bit of a stretch, from one conversation topic to another. But it's a statement that needed to be voiced. A part of me wants to get married on that day because a part of me thinks that something big will happen on that day, and it will be the day, maybe this year, maybe some other year, when I meet the one, if such a thing exists. Or the day that I'm asked out for the first last time.

I'm a hopeless romantic in many ways. If you haven't realized this by this point in my writing, then maybe you should refer to any and all of my pieces of old. Love is a big part of who I am, whether begrudgingly or hopefully. It just is. And so, as many young girls do, I dreamed of the day of my wedding. And how the day wouldn't be a day conveniently chosen, but one with purpose, thought out and meaningful. It would be an anniversary of the first date, or of the date we first met. Maybe November 2nd will be that day. And maybe it won't.

Maybe something will happen at 9:11 on November 2nd.

Something that will change my life forever.

I don't know if I'll ever know. But these things can't be coincidence, can they? The times or dates throughout history that have repeatedly been something noteworthy...those have to mean something don't they?

It has to mean something.

No comments:

Post a Comment