Can I have you folks do me a favor?
Can you watch this? Maybe not even just watch. But listen. At least listen to this before you continue reading.
Listen to the way the narrator speaks, in conjunction with the music.
I watched this for the first time last night and was immediately in awe. Absolute and complete awe. Not necessarily because of the subject matter, but by the way that the narrator uses and speaks these words.
To this day.
So much power. So much force. And, you know, the subject is true as well. Relatable. Believable. True.
This is what I want to be like.
The way that the narrator speaks is the way that I want to write. I want to control my words and give them as much effect and power as he does. I want people to go through all these ranges of emotions, from the early effects of innocence, to soon feeling the pain, the trials, the suffering, and finally to feel the inspiration and rising of spirits within themselves.
I have the power to create power.
For the first time in my life I feel like I'm good enough for something.
Somehow this is beginning to relate back to that clip. For years of my early life, I was happy. But the first time I was called fat, that was it for me. I wasn't good enough for anything. For baseball, for dancing, for acting... Even to this day I'm not of the belief I'm pretty enough for anything, especially a relationship.
To this day, I still have given up all hope on these things, even if not willingly.
I gave up on sports.
I gave up on dancing.
Most of all, I gave up on my love of acting.
I'm breaking the cycle though. I refuse to give up on this now. I'm good enough to write. I'm good enough for my job now. I like what I do and they make me legitimately happy.
My writing style is changing lately. Maybe it's the fact that I'm older, more mature. Maybe the fact that the majority of what I'm writing lately is actually creative nonfiction. The fact that I'm a bit more hardened by life. That I've changed.
And I want to write like this. To evoke the emotion of passion. That's what that feeling really is. Passion, which everyone has. Passion is my passion.
But my writing is different.
And it's starting to get noticed. Rather than giving you some form of a creative muse tonight, all I want to really do is thank you.
I want to thank those of you who are reading, whether we talk or not. I want to thank those of you who have stepped out of their ways to tell me how much they enjoy my writing. I want to thank everyone.
See, with restarting this, I've realized the passion that I have for writing. Over the past couple years or so, with my lack of inspiration amongst other things, I've forgotten why I even bother with writing. But then when you read these things, you remind me why. You remind me what it is that I truly want to do with my life.
I want to write.
I love my job at Disney. I would be content doing this for the rest of my life. Really and truly. But there's something about writing.
I have passion.
And passion is something of worth.