Thursday, March 24, 2011

How did that happen?

I was hanging out with some friends the other day. One asked where I planned on going to school next year and then where I was right now (apparently she couldn't remember).

I told her community college.

The first thing out of her mouth was "Wow, I really expected more out of you...."

To be perfectly honest, so did I.

This got me thinking about how much things have changed over the past few years. Two years ago, I was in a musical, not really giving much thought to anything in my life. College was something of the distant future and I didn't have to worry right now...

I knew I would be going to a four year university anyway.

It wasn't long after that when I started concentrating more on schools. Over the summer, I focused in on a few. And when the school year started, I found myself jumping ahead by a year. College was now only a year away, rather than two.

I knew what school I wanted to go to. A good four year school in a great part of the country. All was going to be fine.

Then, things went sour. That school was out and I was left with the choice of a four year school that I detested or community college. However hard it was, I chose the latter. It was absolutely devastating.

Two years ago, I let others take care of me. I played auto-pilot, allowing the technical things take over. I was absolutely clueless to anything in life.

A year ago, I got a job and found myself paying bills and making decision. But still, I took care of little all by myself.

Two years ago, I was dreaming of the day when I would finally have a boyfriend. But I never believed that anyone would ever ask the likes of me out.

Last year, my heart was in a state of confusion and disrepair, having been abused.

And now I look at all these things today and I's not that bad.

I might be in community college...but I'm working and have gotten two scholarships that will allow me to pay off university. I even find myself despising that four year school less and less.

I have a job and am paying for things by myself, going to doctor's and interviews and bank meetings all by myself. I don't know how or when it happened, but I've grown up.

Today, I was asked out on a date. I said no (the guy is...strange...).

Things have changed so much in the last two years without me truly realizing it. And you know isn't half bad.


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