Saturday, November 26, 2011

Week in Paragraphs, Finding Home, and the End of a Journey

It's 1:30 AM

I technically have to be up in less than 8 hours.

But here comes one of those nights where I just can't seem to sleep.


Well, I'm home. As in home home. Not college home. I drove out Tuesday afternoon and made it back just to have a quick chat with one of my best friends who went to NYC that same night. Then I went home and my mom went and got me Coldstone. Exciting, right?

Since then, my time has been consumed with going places and seeing people. On Wednesday, I went to my Alma Mater, followed by the chiropractor where I met the new [really hot] physical therapist. I enjoyed that last part mainly because he tried to give me a massage on the table but my chiropractor HAD to cut in.

I was so mad at her, you have no idea.

Then I went shopping with my mom, including taking a trip to my old work to say hi to a bunch of people. Late that night, my bestest best friend and I went to go see "Breaking Dawn" and basically laughed through the WHOLE THING. You already know my opinion on the Twi-hard frame of mind.

Then came Thanksgiving Thursday where I spent the morning playing with my nephews and the better part of the day slaving over sweet potato cupcakes that were absolutely DELISH. Seriously. I made 30 and I'm pretty sure there's only 5 left right now. So. Good.

Today I got to do free laundry (I seriously brought the last 2 weeks of laundry here just because it's free!) and wrap my Christmas gifts. Cuz I'm awesome and already bought everyone their stuff. Then I went to go see the Muppets with some really great friends. Then we got pie. :)

Tomorrow, I have plans with another group of friends first thing in the morning (hence why I have to be up in less than 8 hours) and then more plans with my bestie. And then I leave Sunday. And I have to go early so that I can actually do homework (but I'll probably wind up going to Disneyland....)

So much for a relaxing weekend, right?!

However, you remember how I told you last time that I just didn't feel like I belong? Well, the problem continues here. See...home home just doesn't feel like "home" anymore. I feel like a literal stranger in my own house. Everything is different and I don't like it. What I've really been thinking whenever I'm at my house this weekend is how much I can't wait to go back to California. Does that sound horrible? I love home...but it just doesn't feel like home right now.


I also want you all to be informed that I have given up in pursuit of guys that were mentioned in previous posts. I'm just...done with having it be such a big part of my life. I mean, being a girl and having your roommate and good friends at school all having the same obsession kind of MAKES it a big part of you. But I'm just done with that right now.

As my friends would say, "I am a strong, independent, beautiful black woman and I don't need no man."


I figure it's easier this way. Let me focus on school, on writing, and on finding my own place in this world. Besides, things seem to happen easier when I'm not pushing to make it happen. Let it come to me, not force myself upon it.

Good plan, yes?


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