Saturday, December 3, 2011

And You Thought I Had Something Interesting to Say.

So right now I'm chillin' under my bed in this neat-o taquito fort I made all by my lonesome.

Roomie is out with friends.

Other friends are out with...other friends.

I've been watching Big, Bang Theory for the better part of the day. When I haven't been doing that, I've been reading some On the Road.

By myselfness.


It seems like that's how I've spent the past week or so since I got home. By myself. Generally bored. Granted, I was doing homework like a maniac once I got back, writing papers and catching up on reading. But somehow, miraculously, the only thing I have left for the rest of the semester is studying for finals.


I'm so bored. Because I'm a boring person, I guess.

It kind of sucks. Not gonna lie.

I had the time of my life going back home for Thanksgiving (well, for the most part). I was constantly surrounded by people, mostly friends. It was wonderful.

And then I come back to California and I find that I really have no one. I mean, there's a few...but for the most part I'm just kind of chilling all by myself.

Pathetic, right?

I mean, it's not like I chose to be this way. I have friends. We just generally lead different lifestyles so they're always busy when I'm not. Most people would say "Well go make more friends" and I constantly have to remind them that I don't function like that.

I mean, I don't.

Don't think I'm trying to pull this whole "oh, poor Chelsea" act. I'm not. Because honestly I've come to accept the fact that I do and will spend the majority of my time by myself. Most people my age can go out, either to a party or something else, and make instant best friends with 30 people. I can't do that. It takes a while for me to be friends with anyone because I have to find a connection, have to be able to trust them.

I don't not trust a single one of my friends. Once I stop trusting one, they're blocked from my life like that.

Similarly, I don't not have a connection with any of my friends. There's some strand of our personalities that are completely like each other in the not-annoying-but-omg-i-can-always-talk-about-whatever-i-want-with-you-and-be-ok. I can't just me "meh" with people and see them when I see them.

They mean more to me than that.

Guys, I love you. :)

My point: I'm alone a lot of the time out here because I haven't been able to find many of those people that I just instantly jive with and jiving has continued.


I think I had some sort of point to prove with this blog. But I'm pretty sure I lost it. :-/

Welp, my lack of interesting-ness is over with so until next posting, keep cool.


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